3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize