Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
