you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
