i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
