one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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