So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
