Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
