He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
