How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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