the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize