if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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