we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
