i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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