The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
