There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
