I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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