I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
