Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me

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(845): View more from New York

tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up

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(314): View more from Missouri

Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.

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(607): View more from New York

Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles

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(707): View more from California

He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.

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(705): View more from Ontario

So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.

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