Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
