you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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