he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize