guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
