dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
