i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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