maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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