sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They took my balls.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
