last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
