Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
