So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize