yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
