morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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