Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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