Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
