her vagine was all disorganized.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
