she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
