This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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