wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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