i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
