Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he had hair everywhere except his balls
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
my liver is dry heaving
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
