Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
