I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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