I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
