Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
