doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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