i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
