After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it glows. i had to have it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
