Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
