is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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