Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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