I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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