Hey man sorry I got all grabby
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
