Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
