Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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