And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize