If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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