after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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