Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
