I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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