her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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