Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
