marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
