How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
