new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
