Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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