Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
